I am quite ignoring a few days long my rest and peace both on my work as privately. So busy, so much to do and I am getting more and more tired. I sleep badly, caused by the great pressure of work at the moment. And My God is my witness I’ve really tried to let go, to put everything in perspective, you name it. But I am not managing it.
I take a sit on a seat, on my way from work to home and sigh how tired I am and down. Even my contact with “My God” is subject of my doubts. I have people around me thinking I am making everything up, or thinking I am dealing with the devil. And just for this moment I consider it possible that they are right.
I remember the place in my being where I am used to go to and where it is quiet, where God is, where I get to “just Being there”. But I am hardly or in fact not managing it. I'm so stuck in those feelings of squelchyness and tiredness. I say:
“My God, I am really feeling bad, I'm tired and I am afraid I am making up everything concerning You and the blogs, that I'm throwing dust in my own eyes. I am desperate. If this continues, I'll topple over, everything is too much and too intense at this moment and I can’t relax anymore. Will You please help me? Can’t You make up a miracle? Can’t You please show some intervention in my life? I am freaking out.”
Be reassured. I have seen all your wrestling. And I have seen all your attempts to relativize it and to overcome it. I lift you up to My Existence. Be welcome in the
Of course I keep trying to relax and think, oh a promise, not coming true. Then I will be even more left holding the baby and then I'll be absolutely sure I am fantasizing everything. Sorry, I was really thinking this!
Gradually, something shifts in my consciousness. As if I am slowly leaving the rotating soggy heavy wheel and reaching the stillness of the axle. The rotating fades away, I'm getting more peaceful, more quiet, calmer, more relaxed, less tired. I feel everything slipping away from me and I am feeling absorbed in a state of delight.
Silence, total silence, peace, clarity, a Milky white being of nothingness, a bliss of surrender and trust, of being cherished and of emptiness.
Joy as well because of the hearing of my prayer.
Appreciation for what I am feeling.
Delight about the blistering, energetic radiation of power and Whiteness and about the energy and concentrated being I am experiencing now.
I think I have been seated a 20 minutes with my eyes closed, the sounds around me faded away into an outside world, a world not my cup of tea anymore. I slowly open my eyes and feel refreshed, bright and full trust in God. I cry, because God has heard my prayer, helped me in my need. Because I knocked and got the door opened. Because I asked and it was given to me. I am full of confidence and passion again about my contact with “My God”.
I thank God, thank God, thank God.
Be blessed for your words. And know this promise is waiting for you every time you diligently with all your heart are asking Me for help.
My blessings to you all
Nr. 65
