I am staying in the monastery Maria Refuge and in the morning at 7.30 am I am going to the Zen meditation. A gong declares the beginning. Left and right of me people are meditating, and I get a terrible tickle in my throat. Psychosomatic course. I'm afraid to make any sound and coughingor hard swallowing and to bother the others. It is quite annoying. I'm notreally getting into the silence ofmy being as well. I say to My God “Good God, I'm not used to this group thing of silence. I do accept that I suffer and have jitters and whatever,but would You please make me not being a hindrance to the others?”
I gradually feel how the creeps and irritation in mythroat are disappearing. I am getting calmer and more quiet. And I am slowlypulled insight me where My God alwaysis receiving me. The silence. The quietness. The being nothing. The emptiness. The fullness. The being.I make contact with The Milky-White Bosom of God. The essence of my existence.
The gong marks the end of mymeditation. I do believe a Zen master would be satisfied with such a pupil.I really didn’t do anything actually.
I thank God.
Be blessed,every time you put the other first, you’ll become own benefit of it. It is letting go and getting. It is for saking and winning. It's loosing your life and gaining real life.
My blessings to you all
Nr. 131
