My God, last week I really had a bad day.
I was tired, suffered from worrying about my work, I was really depressed and actually despondent. I felt bad.
I walked in a forest and did not really see how beautiful everything was: it had just rained, the earth was fragrant, everything was so green. And since there was no wind all got an almost heavenly atmosphere. And those beautiful old beech trees, which I passed.
I saw everything, but I just felt totally bad.
Suddenly I realized I was really into my
emotions, and I was not treating them very nicely. And You had just before
given me the blog "Emotions are some".
So I actually got scared and grumbled to
myself: “Putting pretty good texts on the Internet and for yourself not listening
to them at all, what a guy you are”. I said to You: "Sorry, My God, maybe I can make an effort with Your help?"
You said, "Please, My son."
I looked at my depression and said, "You
may be here, I thank you, because you are bringing me so much: understanding
for others who are struggling, I take some rest, you let me feel not everything
in life has to be okay, that all successes are not self-evident".
And I remembered those who are always
depressed, while I am occasionally depressed. Depression dispenses her
presence, as much as I can have. And I felt how my depression got a place in my being and became surrounded by a soft, golden covering and if it suddenly became good and bearable to experience.
I looked at my fatigue and said, "Why
should you not be here? Aren’t you having a reason for your presence in my
life? You just show me I have done too much and I have asked too much from my
body and my mind. I thank you you're here. You are calling a halt to me, you
are asking me to take some rest, that’s all”.
And suddenly I literally felt so much love for
my fatigue, as if God looked at me in this manner.
So I look indeed at you, My son, with much more love than you are
experiencing now.
And it was as if my fatigue became surrounded
by a soft, golden covering and if it was suddenly well, just being there.
So I examined emotion to emotion, peacefully
and lovingly.
And gradually, something changed in my being. I
did not feel anymore as if I was lying on my back, and as if I was burdened
with negative emotions, not being able to move. I now had the sensation I was literally standing right up in my own shoes, and that all negative emotions had gotten an own place in my being and suddenly I felt so much love for all those emotions, for myself, for life. And I said to God: "It's Your love I am feeling now, isn’t it, not mine?".
It's My love you are feeling, and this love is always at your disposal,
day and night, and know that you're in this love very close
to Me, because of the way you are looking now at your so called negative
emotions.
And certainly for three days I lived in a world
of space and peace and love and welcomed all negative emotions and looked forward
to the tough days sure to come.
And then I lost everything again, and became swallowed
up by even more violent emotions, which drew me even further from home and God,
and I realized I still had a long way to go.
But I also knew what was possible in my life
with the love of God.
I thank you God for everything.
Be blessed.
My blessings to you all
