Sunday 18 June 2017

Sorrow from the past may influence the future (Alice Miller, 3)


“The more we idealized the past, however, and refuse to acknowledge our childhood sufferings, the more we pass them on unconsciously to the next generation.” *

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The child in man’s life is enormously manifest in the present and determines much of behaviour, especially the unconscious behaviour. And in big decisions, in extreme difficulties and at important moments, the child determines in man more than the reasonable person realizes.

And this child in man is, as Alice Miller has described, in fact always violated, treated unfairly, disappointed in the adults or infected by a parent.

And this mistreated child determines in fact the decisions of man, so to speak more than man realizes. For example, some adults never acquire a partner, or end up in a life of addictions or depression,  precisely by this hidden suffering child in them. And only if man accepts and feels compassion for this suffering child, one can go on. And what most people do is draw a veil over their childhood. And thus continue to carry a greater burden lifelong , with more influence on their lives than necessary.

And God does not argue to send everybody in therapy. A good therapy may lead man to his own abused child. But a nice encounter, a clear dream, a open-minded person, an insight, intense prayers or a deep relationship with God may be supportive as well. Man may start to love  that little hidden child in the inner self. And many things can be solved then and healed.
Alice Miller may be blessed.

My blessings to you all
 
*Alice Miller, For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence

Nr. 390